Friday, September 28, 2012

Oh, the horror...(Part II-Even MORE heinous)

So yesterday Derek decided it was time to mow our "yard" (We don't really have an official yard, per's more of a boundary that we create in the hay field by cutting the grass so that we don't have waist deep hay at our front understand.)  I was inside with Brennan and we watched through various windows throughout the house as Derek buzzed around on the riding mower.  Then...he stopped.  He gazed toward the house with a crazed look in his eye* and I thought "Uh-oh...what's wrong??"  So I went to the door to check and he walked up calmly and told me to get the camera because there was a HUGE spider.  (There may or may not have been an expletive thrown in there.)  I have to admit, I thought he must be overreacting, a spider big enough to get off of the giant machine you are driving?? But who am I to judge?  So I got the camera.  Much to my dismay...he was, in fact, NOT overreacting...No, not one little bit.  

THIS is what he saw whilst mowing:

Texas Brown Tarantula...discovered mere FEET from my front door.

Perhaps the most astounding thing about this whole charade is that we caught the thing.  Looking back on this now, CLEARLY we were suffering some sort of panic-induced insanity.  Why else would we have gotten close enough to first capture the beast in a tupperware container and then transfer it to a mason jar since we couldn't see through the tupperware very well?  It defies reason. 

I have to admit...I was really hoping that this little monster and the heart palpitations that ensued would have thrown me into labor...but alas, I am still pregnant.  We didn't kill the spider, by the way.  Upon doing some research we learned that the Texas Brown Tarantula is actually quite docile and not poisonous.  Also, they eat other bugs and spiders and such.  HOWEVER, we did pass him along to my Father-in-Law who wanted to get some better pictures of the mongrel.**  He has STRICT instructions to release the disgusting beast far FAR away from the residence.  

I'm thinking it might be time to move.  Who can find me a place where man-eating spiders don't exist?? Hmm??

*He was clearly disturbed, but tried to remain calm.  As we were contemplating how to catch the spider he had the idea that maybe he could just "drop" the tupperware onto the spider.  I assured him that was a horrible idea because clearly this thing could bench press us both...we needed some force behind it!   So my brave husband inched closer and closer...very slowly...and finally slammed down the tupperware as he yelled "FACE YOUR FEARS!!" It was actually more like "FACEYOURFEARS!" one swift word.  If you watch Modern Family, think "Excited-Phil-Dunphy-Voice"  HILARIOUS.  

**That's right...Mongrel.  This thing was harrier than a dog.  And had longer legs too.  

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