Monday, June 6, 2011

Drop It Like It's Hot.


Remember the boy-band 98*? (By the way...I am using the asterisk because I can't figure out how to put the little degrees "circle-thing-a-ma-bob" in a word document...anyone?) Thinking about the name of their group makes me laugh because honestly I am pretty sure that their goal was to get the point across to all of the tween girl population that they were "SOOOOOO HOT, like OMG." but can we just stop and acknowledge the fact that 98 Degrees isn't even average body temperature?? I mean...they might as well have said "Hey...we're 98*...we're you on a slightly chilly day. Maybe you should put on a sweater." Now, I will give it to them...when it is 98 Degrees OUTSIDE...that is pretty hot, but if they really wanted to drive home the "hotness" they really should have gone a little crazier. Like say...110 Degrees. Now that is HOT. Which brings me to the actual point of this blog post...

Living in East Texas during the summer is pretty much like living in the mouth of a fire breathing dragon...except the dragon lives by a lot of water so it is unbearably humid. I'm sorry if that analogy isn't the best...my brain is currently suffering heat stroke. This year (so I am told) has been breaking "heat" records left and right. Well...I, for one, am not impressed. I would just like to state...for the record...that I believe it to be absolutely insane and totally unnecessary. 110 Degrees in the beginning of June??? Imagine August!! Ugh...no...don't. It will only make you tired...and really cranky. And probably significantly thirsty. I'm trying to look at the brighter(and cooler) side of things. For example...Thank GOD I am not pregnant right now. I can't even begin to express how wretched my attitude would be if that were the case. Also, how awesome is it that I have an air conditioner in my home AND my vehicle?? See...like that. I can definitely think of reasons why, in spite of the fact that I live in the blazing furnace that is Texas, I am still blessed. However...my poor little garden cannot say the same. *single tear*

I have come to the conclusion that although we made a valiant effort, our Garden has officially succumbed to the dragon's breath. Well...not the WHOLE garden. The tomato plants are still hanging on and I am going to continue nurturing them until they shrivel into the earth and die!! Everything else though...literally looks like someone took a match to the leaves and burned the plants. It sort of has that "old treasure map" look to it. The edge of the leaves have curled in upon themselves seeking any last piece of moisture or shade they could find...alas...the wretched heat has consumed them. Some of the plants still have a few vegetables on them and I have harvested/will harvest what I can and then I will lay my garden to rest until the brisk East Texas Winter arrives bringing with it the 75-80 degrees temperatures...then I will attempt to plant some more things. I don't count this as a failure though. For two reasons...#1 being that we have already enjoyed some pretty delicious produce from this garden and #2, I have learned what to do for next year (plant things approximately 3 months earlier than you would in any "normal" climate to account for the hellish Texas Summer!)

So, Happy Summer folks. If you live somewhere that is a mild 70-80 degrees, I envy you. I know a lot of people who read this blog (ha...like I have "A LOT" of readers...) are living in Washington State. Oh, how I miss it. Please...next time you are having a rainy, 50 degree day...remember me...and Thank God for your glorious Pacific Northwest summer!