Emotional Napsack

I have always been a pretty emotional person. All kinds of emotion really...happiness, sadness, anger, etc. I have heard it said that that means you are a "passionate" person. I'll take it.

When I was young I was a crier. When I say that I cried a lot...I mean, I cried A LOT. I was one of those people that would exit the movie theater after a sappy chick-flick with red puffy eyes. I was the girl that was on weepy-hyper drive at all times. Seriously like the infamous tween from the American Idol crowd...that was me. I'm not sure what happened though because once I hit about 19 or 20 I just kind of stopped. Not to say that I turned into a heart-of-stone-no-tears-robot...some things still made me cry, but I just stopped crying at the drop of a hat. I stopped crying during movies...even sappy ones!! It was the weirdest thing and I couldn't quite figure it out. I thought I was broken. Or maybe that I had cried so much in my early years that I was all dried up.

Well now that I a Mother...let me tell you...it is back in full force, my friends. What is it about having a baby that causes you to find every little thing emotionally wrenching? Or is it just me? I find myself looking at things like paintings or flowers and thinking about how beautiful they are. Let me just pause and say that paintings and flowers have yet to make me actually shed a tear, but they can definitely make me stop and appreciate...whereas maybe I didn't so much before. I'll tell you what really gets me though...kid stuff. It doesn't even have to be MY kid (although that really does it) Songs about kids, Movies about kids, Pictures of kids, Stories about kids, Kids that are kids...It's pretty ridiculous actually. The radio comes on this time of year and you hear the little kid singing about buying his Mom some Christmas Shoes so she can meet Jesus...I mean...COME ON!!! Who writes this stuff?? (By the way, that song used to-and still does annoy me, but I just can't help but feel sad when I hear it! UGH!) Another thing...the other day I was watching Lord of the Rings-Return of the King with my husband and watching Sam encourage Frodo and then carry him up that mountain...*sigh* Maybe it's because the hobbits are small like kids??

There are times when Brennan is being super sweet and cuddly (he gives the best bear hugs!) that I just cry. He is just so precious and adorable and sweet that I feel like I might overflow or burst with joy and thankfulness. I am thankful that God chose to bless me with such an incredible little person in my life. It's all sort of a snowball thing really. Thinking of how thankful I am for Brennan makes me think of how blessed I am to have Derek who is a super Dad which makes me think about how I love my little family. Watching Sam carry Frodo up the mountain makes me think about how loyal and awesome friends have been in my life. Hearing that shoe song for the 5 hundred-thousandth time makes me think about how blessed I am to HAVE shoes and to be able to spare even just a fraction of what I have so that someone else might have something special on Christmas.

I realize that all of that was sort of jumbled (what can I say? I'm an emotional girl :-)) but basically what it comes to is that becoming a mother has brought me back to realizing that I am so truly blessed and helped me to embrace the fact that I am a big sappy cry baby. It has also made me especially tenderhearted where Children are concerned. I just love 'em.