What Had Happened Was...

You know when you can tell someone doesn't want to say what they need to because they are ashamed and/or embarrassed? Like when a person starts out a sentence with "What had happened was*..."?

Well, you see...what had happened was...I have been lazy. I am terribly sorry. Forgive me, will you? I could go on and on and continue with my what-had-happened-was attitude, but I won't. I could offer you plenty of reasons why I haven't been doing what I should be doing, but lets be honest...they'd all just be excuses (and some of them not even GOOD ones) anyway. So instead I will just be completely open and update you on the status of previously mentioned goals set forth on this here blog.

I wonder if I should start with the good news or the bad?? Oh what the heck...my whole "being physically fit" thing...not "working out" so well. Pun intended. Once again, I could go into a long list of reason why but I will spare you. Bottom line...I have failed to do what I said I would do. I will mention that I haven't been a complete sloth void of any sort of activity for the past 5 months (sort of impossible when you are the mother of an 18-month-old boy) I just haven't been really aggressive about losing the weight I want to lose. Bummer. I'm trying to just move on with life though and keep telling myself that I can do it. I have a gym membership and I go semi-regularly. I need to just go ultra-regularly. Scratch that...religiously. I need to quit making excuses for not going and just go. I always feel good after I leave the gym and I never regret my decision to work out. Not working out on the other hand often leaves me feeling like a giant loser. SO...I haven't given up hope just yet. *Note: I have just been informed that Starbucks now has Coconut flavoring again. God help me...Good thing the closest Starbucks is not close enough to justify multiple trips.

Ok...GOOD NEWS! Our goal to become financially fit is coming along quite nicely. It's not as if we snapped our fingers and decided we wanted to be debt free and then woke up rich (although that would be nice, huh?) but we did come together in our marriage and decide that enough was enough. No more credit cards, no more debt. Period. I gotta tell ya...it is a huge relief! Actually, the problem with my thinking before this whole revelation was that I thought to myself "It is just TOO scary to think about living without a credit card...I mean...what if we NEED something??" HAH! Well, I can honestly say...doing without things that I definitely do NOT need (but may think I do) is so, so, so much easier than living with the guilt and the fear that comes with having a huge credit card bill and debt hanging over your head. As I said before, it's not like we came to this realization and then magically woke up debt free but the point is...we will be. We are on our way and it feels GREAT! It is amazing what paying off something does to your momentum when you are on a debt-freedness mission!! Not to mention the lack of arguing that takes place when you and your husband are on the same page about finances...seriously...amazing. Let me just say that we (obviously) still argue now and then...who doesn't? But we are in such exponentially greater places as far as communication about finances go and it is glorious. ***sigh of relief***

So, there you have it. I'm not perfect. Nowhere close actually, but I at least try to do some things right. Hang in there with me and if you think of it say a prayer that I stay away from the Coconut White Mochas and stay close to the gym!!!

PS...Clearly by my stating the desire to frequent Starbucks, I am also failing in the "No Caffeine" department...oops.

*I am aware that this phrase is ridiculous and quite comical. If you didn't already, please read the above entry with a drawl over the words "What had happened was..." You won't regret it.

Prone To Wander

I have to say...music really gets me. Seriously. Every time. Let me just mention at this point that I am in NO way musically gifted. In fact, I love to sing along, but only when the music is loud enough to drown out the obnoxiousness that is my "singing voice". Still, it doesn't change the fact that music moves me. From very early on, I can remember listening to all kinds of music and (thankfully) developing a love for multiple genres and styles. I wasn't the typically "teeny-bopper" kind of girl (although I could belt out a little "Hit Me Baby One More Time" like the rest of them...I also loved the really GOOD music...and still do.) Music really played a role in my coming to Christ. Not that it was the only factor (obviously) but it was something that got this heart moving. Now that I have been a Christian for about 10 years (WOW) I can say that when I am in church and experiencing "worship"...I like for it to be moderately "up beat". I'm not talking strobe lights and stunning pyrotechnics, I just mean...I like for there to be some instruments...a beat. You know what I mean. Can I get a little bass guitar, please? Thank you. BUT...who can resist a crisp, raw, voices-lifted-up, old fashioned hymn every once in a while? My favorite one has always been "Come Thou Fount". It is just so beautiful and the lyrics really ring true in my life. So this weekend, on the way to church, I found a CD that I have had for a long time but forgot about and I LOVE the version of this hymn that these guys sing. ("The Worship Room" is the name of the CD...Chad Cates is one of the guys...amazing.) I got a little choked up as I belted it out because...well...like I said..music gets me. Particularly music that speaks such awesome truth. I encourage you to really read the words and think about it. Go ahead...let it marinate. I think the second verse of this song (which by the way...I learned was changed to alternate lyrics sometime in the 70's...I looked up the original lyrics and no offense to Robert Robinson-the original writer, but I do like the newer lyrics better.) is particularly true of my life. I love how it says: "Jesus sought me when a stranger" (there I go getting choked up again!) I mean really...in my life, my experience, there is NO other explanation for where I am today other than to know without a doubt, wholeheartedly that God's hand of protection and guidance was on me before I even knew Him. How amazing and truly humbling. Really. Anyway, I just wanted to share the lyrics to this beautiful song (which I am sure you have heard at some point in your life) I hope that it brightens your day and speaks to you the way it does to me.

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise His Name I'm fixed upon it
Name of God's redeeming love.

Hither to thy love has blessed me
Thou has brought me to this place
And I know thy hand will bring me
Safely home by thy good grace
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Bought me with His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

*Image Source: payolacollective.com

The Sky is Falling...no wait...it's just poop.

...and the award for the dumbest animals on the face of the earth goes toooooooo....CHICKENS!

Seriously. SO stupid. And Foul. (or should I say FOWL...HAH! Get it?)

So anyway...we got chickens a few weeks ago. Eight cute little fluffy baby chicks that we brought home and put in a cozy bed of saw dust warmed by the orange glow of their heat lamp. Fast forward three weeks and we have these awkward half fuzz-half feathers, medium sized, not-quite baby-not quite adult chickens. Gross. That isn't the part that makes them so annoying though...

These chickens poop...A LOT. I know, I know...you're thinking "Everyone poops, Linds...it's a fact of life." Well let me ask you THIS...does everyone poop in their food and water??! No. I swear...I go in to check on these chickens about once every 2 hours and their water and food dish is completely full...of crap. So I clean it out, put it back all nice and pretty and BAM! Before I even leave the room...POOP. Ugh. I have come to the conclusion that there is one little chicken that seems to be a little trouble maker. I have no real way of proving this (unless I mark the chickens somehow...but lets be honest...who wants to get their hands on the dumb things long enough to fashion some sort of an ankle bracelet when I just shared that they do nothing but poop on themselves all day?? Not me.) but I swear this same little chickie is the culprit that without fail, I find perched on top of the food jar EVERY time...just dumping away. I mean...REALLY? On TOP of the food jar? You jump up there on purpose and take a poo on TOP of your food jar. Why? I'll tell you why...just to make me want to consider building a rotisserie pit instead of a chicken house.

Needless to say...they stink and they aren't even cute anymore. SO...I am anxiously counting the days until these filthy beasts are able to live outside and provide eggs for my family.

**Just a little side note...it's not THAT bad for us since we have a little "sun room" on our house that has a door so we have been able to seclude the chickens in that area and not have "chicken stink" throughout our living space. Thank goodness. We will be thoroughly disinfecting the sun room when they move outside.
PS...the picture is not of OUR chickens, but the ones we have are Rhode Island Red's and look just like the brownish colored chicks above.

New Things

Hello there! A lot has happened since my last post...which explains my lack of blog. Terribly sorry.

I got a new job! This is exciting because it is really doing great things for the whole "becoming-financially-fit" business. It is a full time position which means that I miss Brennan a lot, but the good news is...Derek is usually home for at least 3 days a week so he hangs out with Daddy a lot (it definitely melts a Mom's heart to come home and see her guys playing and having fun together) and on the days when Derek and I are both working, Brennan gets to hang out with Grandma and "Graaaaaaa" (which is his adorable way of saying Grandpa) Everyone wins in this situation, really. I do miss him...tons...but I know that what I am doing now is going to really mean a different (and better) life for him in the future. SO BE IT. Plus, the fact that his days that are not spent completely with me are spent with family and not in daycare...which makes the whole scenario tolerable for this Mommy.

In other news...Brennan is HUGE. And so smart. I mean, I know that it is something that every parents thinks and says about their child but really...MY child is a genius. He is chatting up a storm and now knows all kinds of animal noises, body parts, and songs. It's truly incredible to watch your little baby develop into a mini-person who can figure things out and explore and learn...crazy. Some of his new little tricks have proven to be *slightly* embarrassing when in mixed company though. Example: when he not only wants to show other people HIS belly button by lifting his shirt and pointing, but he wants to lift THEIR shirt and examine THEIR belly button as well. Haven't quite figured out how to get across the whole "not taking off other people's shirts" lesson yet...oops. Luckily, most people who my son tries to undress think it is pretty darn adorable. In addition to the animal noises (We ask him: "what does the _____ say?" and he replies with the appropriate noise-and we're not just talking your run of the mill "cow", "pig", and "dog"...this kid does "elephant"-complete with arm-trunk in the air, "tiger", "lion", "rooster", "chicken"...you name it...he makes the sound.) he has started to call the animals by name. He has a Baby Einstein DVD that is all about animals and when the Koala comes up on the screen he sweetly chirps "KOLA" (sounds like Call-uh, but I'd say that is pretty darn good for 16 months old) or he will say "WOMBAT!"...wombat...really? I didn't even know what a Wombat was until I watched his Baby Einstein! He also calls Big Bird and Elmo by name (although Elmo sounds more like "Bobo") and he sings the "I love yooooou" part of "Skidamarinkeedinkeedoo" (is that how you spell that?) and he sings "Ya ya ya ya YO!" for the chorus of "Old MacDonald"...LOVE THIS KID!!

Just this last week we had visitors here in our little old town! LindsAy Johnson and Betsy Johnson...two of my most favorite people!! Brennan has a blast hanging out with Auntie Linds and No'ma and I won't lie...It did this little girl's heart good to have my precious friends under the same roof as me! Love those ladies. A lot. A LOT, A LOT.

While they were here we took Brennan for his first trip to the zoo and it was a lot of fun. He loves animals and once we got him to keep his little hat on he enjoyed riding around in his stroller and seeing the sights. By the time it was over though, we were all SO ready to sit in front an air conditioner for the rest of our lives. Seriously...it was stinking hot outside!! Sad thing is...it is MARCH. Meaning...I don't even want to imagine what sorts of bad words will be playing in my mind in July or August...ugh. Anyway, aside from the fact that we were all dehydrated and a little "pink" when we left the zoo...a fun time was had by all!

I think I'll be done with this post for now. I hope you are all doing well and have enjoyed listening to me brag about my amazingly handsome and bright baby boy!

The Day of Groundhogs

Happy Groundhogs Day! Word around town is that old Punxsutawney Phil says that there will be an early spring this year...he's been wrong in the past though, so I won't hold my breath. Truth be told...I don't particularly mind the cold weather. Living in East Texas the weather is hot and humid a lot of the time, so I welcome a cool breeze. In fact I welcome an arctic breeze. I figure we have a nice warm house, comfy warm clothes, the ability to make fires in the fireplace...we'll be fine and before too long it will be hotter than Satan's breath...or something equally outrageously and uncomfortably hot, so I'm not complaining! (That's right, I just equated the summers of East Texas to the the devil's mouth.)

Anyway, because it is Groundhogs Day, Derek and I will be watching the glorious Billy Murray movie in which he repeats the day over and over and over again. For those of you who haven't seen it, it's pretty awesome. So I would recommend stopping what you are doing and watching it immediately. It's definitely one of those "once-a-year" viewing type deals...kind of like how you watch Christmas movies starting AFTER Thanksgiving (if you watch them before Thanksgiving and/or listen to Christmas Music before Thanksgiving...you should be ashamed of yourself. Just kidding...but seriously.) Watching Bill Murray relive the same day multiple times in the movie always gets me thinking "What if I had to live ONE day on repeat?" In the movie he is having a horrible day, but lets just say that you got to choose the day you would relive...obviously you'd pick a really good day, right? Imagine how horrible that favorite day of yours would become if it was all you could ever do? Or maybe you would pick your worst day ever and try to "fix" it. Stay with me here...it's easy to look back on certain days and wish that you could repeat or change something which would hypothetically change the course of the rest of that day and maybe even your life, but you know...you can't. Sad, but true. Sometimes I struggle with the "what if" attitude and I have to just snap out of it and keep moving forward. There really are no "what ifs" or "buts"...you only get one chance to live each day. Ideally you would do everything right and never want to change something about your day...unfortunately none of us have that ability. So, our options are: move forward or let your "mistakes" consume you and ruin your life from there on out. I choose to move forward and you should too. Don't let mistakes that you have made crush you, learn from them and try to teach others with your experience. Don't let "what ifs" overtake your life so that you don't enjoy your life NOW. Don't make excuses for circumstances in your life, own up and move on. I have faith that God can right my wrongs and undo my misdeeds, even I have done something seemingly irreversible...I just have to be willing to cease the pity party and accept the help to get out of the hole that I have dug myself into.

Funny how something like a Bill Murray movie can make you think thoughts such as these, eh? Maybe it's just me. In any case, you just read what I wrote...so I know you're thinking about it too! Happy Groundhogs Day everyone!

Today marks the third day of me attempting to detox from my caffeine addiction. When I was pregnant with Brennan I quit cold turkey. I realize that drinking a cup of coffee is not like having a heroin binge, but when I found I was pregnant it was like this switch went off in my brain that told me "You need to be super healthy". So I was. For the most part anyway. I didn't pop a single Tylenol. On the rare occasion that I did drink coffee it was decaf. I only ate Deli meat that was steamed in the microwave (if at all), I drank water like it was my job and took my vitamins like a good girl. Funny thing...after Brennan switched to formula (not by choice, mind you) I sort of just snapped out of it and I wish I wouldn't have. I kind of enjoyed being all "clean". Now it's almost a year and half later (holy crap!) and I find myself needing my coffee in the morning and sometimes another dose in the afternoon to get through my day. Call me crazy, but I just don't want to be dependent on the stuff. Once again, it's not like coffee is going to kill me or become an addiction that I need to be hospitalized for, but an addiction nonetheless. I find myself feeling jittery and anxious when I drink coffee too. I have also been having trouble sleeping lately. Not too difficult to figure out, huh? So anyway...here I go. I am nixing caffeinated coffee. I have been drinking decaf in the mornings for two reasons: #1, it tastes yummy and #2, it has a *slight* amount of caffeine so that my brain will not implode to a sudden absence of my "fix". So far, it's been ok. The first day was the worst and I had a ridiculous headache. Day two a little better. Today...still a little better. I think you see the trend. Hopefully this is the beginning of a new and healthy me! I would also like to mention that I have nothing against coffee drinkers and I will most likely indulge in a caffeinated beverage at some point in the future, I just don't want it to be one of those things where I am unable to function if I don't have it. Cheers!

Hide and Seek

Let me just start this by saying that my son is such a joy to me (and lots of other people too) and I truly feel like he is doing or saying something new every day. I know, it sounds cliche, but seriously...they grow so fast!

One of Brennan's favorite things to do is to hide. In fact, he has a special little "nook" that is perfect Brennan size at Grandma and Grandpa's house and it is endless entertainment for him to squeeze into the space between the wall and the book case and snicker as we say "Wheeeeeeeere's Brennan??" Pretty much the cutest thing ever, although I can foresee this type of behavior being troublesome in the near future when he ACTUALLY hides himself and I cannot find him. Yikes.

He also really enjoys hiding things or I guess it is more like "storing" things...for instance...we have a kitchen island with a butcher block top(got it from Ikea long ago and it is amazing and still one of my favorite kitchen things) that has a shelf underneath where we keep all of our pots and pans. Brennan loves to play with the pots and pans and their lids and I will frequently upon post-Brennan-bedtime-organization find toys, mittens, keys, etc. inside of the pots. Anyway, a few days ago I was smelling this horribly nasty smell in the kitchen. It was so annoying because everything was spotless and I felt like I was losing my mind. I couldn't figure out where in the world this stench was coming from. It was really quite a funny sight: Me, on all fours sniffing around trying to locate the source. TA-DA!! Found it! OH the smell....the wretched, wretched smell. As I mentioned before, Brennan really enjoys putting things inside of the pots. Well...his favorite pot is our "asparagus steamer" (many people mocked me for wanting this, but it has proven to be quite useful. It is a tall, skinny pot with a wire basket inside so you can just snip the bottoms of the asparagus stalks and drop them in the basket upright...perfectly steamed, unbroken, unbent asparagus...every time. Thank you very much!!) I don't know why he has chosen this as his favorite pot...maybe because it a shiny stainless steel? Who knows? Anyway...Usually I will see whatever he has dropped in there because the lid is glass and therefore see-through...Well this time, I did not see. Why, You ask? I'll tell you why...because THIS time, my precious baby boy thought it would be fun to "hide" his milk in the bottom of the asparagus steaming pot. Like I said...this thing has a wire basket inside of it and the milk went straight through the basket and settled nicely in the bottom of the pot. UGH! When I finally discovered where the smell was coming from there was a nice, thick, semi-solid layer of rancid Organic Whole Milk at the bottom. I'm starting to dry heave just thinking about it. Ahhh...lesson learned, I suppose. I now make sure to check the pot for any sippy-cup liquids lest we be plagued with curdled milk once more. Or maybe we should eat asparagus more often and then I would have discovered the milk sooner? Either way...I hope that you never have to endure the nasty stink of old milk.