The Most Wonderful Thing About Tiggers is...

Well folks...it's official...I'm pregnant. Actually, this is old news. I am QUITE pregnant at this point, not even just a little bit pregnant, but being that this is my first blog post about this...SURPRISE!! I'm pregnant!

So far this pregnancy has been fairly similar to my pregnancy with Brennan. I feel pretty miserable most of the time. Although if this go-around truly IS like Brennan's time in the womb that means I will begin to feel awesome in the next week or so. Come on, baby! Be good to me!

Have you ever felt like you could literally just fall asleep at any moment? Standing? In the Shower? Cooking dinner? Mid-Conversation? Yep. I could sleep. SO. TIRED. ALL. THE. TIME. I miss having even a smidgen of energy. This is especially difficult when I have a very vivacious little 2-and-a-half-year-old that would love it if I would play dump trucks and legos 24/7. I have also managed to LOSE weight (again, like with Brennan) so far. I won't go into exact numbers because well...I don't want to...but lets just say that this isn't necessarily a "woohoo! I am losing weight!" type of deal...it's more like "Man...I just wish I could have a reprieve from the nausea so I could eat something for pleasure again." I will say, I have been able to start eating more now than a couple weeks ago, which again...is a good sign! I can see the light at the end of this queezy tunnel!!

Of course, as they say...this is ALL worth it. I just want a healthy little baby and if feeling this way is allowing my child to thrive in there...then so be it. After all, women WERE designed for this, eh? (PS...I hate it when people say that because it's true and it doesn't make it any more pleasant. Thanks.)

Brennan is so precious and very excited when it comes to this baby. We involved him very early on (even though some people say NOT to do that in case something goes awry...we took our chances) and he is thrilled. He asks to listen to the baby and will hold his ear to my belly and just grin (Note: I will need to tell him someday that what he was actually hearing was Mommy's digestive process!) From the very beginning Brennan has said (without coaxing) that the baby is a "DIRL BABY!" (Dirl=Girl) Which, of course, would be wonderful. However...if Brennan has a little Brother we will be just as excited! We have asked Brennan what he thinks the baby's name should be and after some deep thought he has decided the baby should be called "Tigger" So...whilst in utero...this little bundle of joy shall hereby be called Tigger.

We had a doctors appointment this morning and Brennan was able to attend. It was a quick appointment, but we heard that sweet heart beat loud and clear. This time the heart rate was in the 140's. At 8 weeks when we had our first ultrasound the baby had a heart rate of 168. Brennan's heart rate at 8 weeks was just over 150. Maybe this little Tigger IS a girl?? Only time will tell.

TTFN (Get it?? Because Tigger says that? So clever...)

Wife AND Mom

Brennan has definitely come into the "MINE" phase of his life. He is having a really difficult time with the concept of sharing right now and he makes it very clear that he is not at all interested in learning. Poor guy...he has been spending quite a bit of time in "time-out" and crying about his toys being in someone else's (Mommy or Daddy) hands. Since we don't have a whole lot of other kids to interact with we try to play with him and teach him about sharing as best we can. Sometimes it goes well. Other times...not so much.

This is one for the books...

Last night when Derek got home we were all hanging out in the living room. Derek was playing with Brennan and I was laying on the couch observing. Derek took a break to lay down next to me on the couch and put his arm around me and what happened next was all at once hilarious, completely pitiful, and alarming...

Brennan screams..."MY MOMMY!!!!! MY MOMMY!!!" Derek and I just looked at each other and chuckled. Don't underestimate Brennan's reaction though...I want you to picture a hysterical, crocodile tears streaming, completely distraught baby boy...clawing at Derek's back to try to get him off of me. Derek started to move and I said "No, stay right here." I calmly told Brennan..."Hey, listen...you can come up and cuddle with us, ok?" So, after some coaxing, he finally climbed over Derek and came to lay on my belly. So all three of us were cuddled on the couch and he continued to cry "Myyyyyyyy Mommy!" I explained to him that yes, I was HIS Mommy, but that I am also Daddy's WIFE. Derek chimed in "This is my wife." At which point the waterworks and hysterics began again and Brennan shouted (quite angrily, might I add) "NO!!! MY WIFE!"

Ahh...oh the hilarity. I must admit (even at the risk of sounding completely nuts) it was slightly gratifying that Brennan wanted me all to himself. Moments like these are so precious. Naturally we can't let him hold to this illusion, but hey...if my two year old son gets jealous that I am Daddy's wife...I am just going to take that as a compliment :) In the months to come we will be exercising our "sharing" muscles and teaching Brennan that it's ok for his Mommy to also be Daddy's Wife...in fact, it's awesome. I hope someday he is as good a Husband AND Dad as Derek is.

Lazarus...Come Forth!

Funny story about the chickens...Ok...so there is really only one small part of this that is funny "ha-ha"...the rest is just kind of funny in a "not-actually-humorous-but-kind-of-unfortunate" way.

SO...usually Derek lets the chickens out of their house to roam about in the afternoon/evening, but yesterday he thought he'd wake up bright and early and let them out first thing in the morning. You know...in honor of Columbus Day he thought he would allow them to explore a little longer.

Around 9:30 am, we got a distraught call from Derek's Mom informing us that Uncle Denard (Shannon's Uncle) had come down to visit and brought along Rocky and Midnight (both farm dogs) Well...as you can imagine, the chickens never stood a chance. So Judy informed us that one chicken was visibly dead and two chickens were missing. Sad Day. Derek was really annoyed because "Now we're only going to have THREE eggs a day!!" and I explained to him that you know, these things happen...they are BEASTS after all.

Well, lo and behold, after about 45 minutes we get another call from Judy and she exclaims "IT'S A MIRACLE! The two chickens have returned!!" Apparently when the little ladies heard Shannon driving around on the gator they returned to the coop. Alas, we only lost ONE chicken. All was right in the world once more. But wait...

Fast Forward ANOTHER 30 minutes or so and we receive yet another call from Judy informing us that the "dead" chicken has resurrected leading us to affectionately rename her "Lazarus". Little did we know, Chickens play "dead" as a defense mechanism. SO...Little Lazarus was alive, but unfortunately not well. She suffered a brutal attack at the hands (errr...jaws?) of Midnight the farm dog. So my dear old husband, Farmer Derek, did the humane thing and put her out of her little collapsed-lung misery.

And then there were five...

*Image courtesy of Medicine Hat Media...isn't it hilarious and so fitting for this post??

Tomatoes

So...apparently I have a problem with talking/walking in my sleep. This wouldn't be so bad if I lived alone and didn't have anyone to laugh and point when I made a complete fool of myself, but alas...I am an old married lady. An old married lady who's husband finds great joy in retelling my obnoxious utterances from the night before.

Perhaps the funniest part of this is that often times I am semi-aware of my absurdity...but I tend to get sort of angry when you make fun of my outrageous comments. It's like my brain knows that I am making perfect sense, but it also knows that I am not. I feel kind of frustrated because I am trying super hard to explain why I am saying what I am saying, but it is coming out as gibberish. Ahhh...just adding to the hilarity for the bystander.

So let me paint a picture for you, hmmm? Last night I went to bed around 10:30. Derek tends to be a little more of night owl than I am, so he didn't come to bed at that time. Next thing I know (it's around 11:30 now), I am on my hands and knees next to our laundry basket digging through our dirty clothes and Derek is standing by watching me and this was how our conversation went:

Derek: "Babe...what are you looking for?"

Me: "Tomatoes..."

Derek: (laughing) "What????"

Me: (clearly irritated that he doesn't understand me) "NOT TOMATOES...my bra...something to carry tomatoes in..."

Derek: (rolling laughter) "Ooooook. Do you need to go to the bathroom??"

Me: "yeah..."

And so you have it...less than 30 seconds from that moment I was fast asleep again(although I'll be honest...I don't know if I was every fully "awake"), despite the roaring laughter of my husband beside me. Why do I do these things?? What in the name of all that is Holy was I dreaming about??? I mean seriously. It's all quite funny when I wake up and realize what I have done, but in the moment I can't help but feel like everyone else is ridiculous and they need to just pay attention! I mean, clearly tomatoes are only transported safely when they are carried in your bra. Doesn't everyone know that??!

A few nights ago, Derek tells me that I was shouting "No! No! Nooooo!" in my sleep. I told him to give me a break since earlier that evening we had watched the movie "Trust" which is about a teenage girl who gets lured into a trap by a middle aged man on the internet. CLEARLY I was having a nightmare about a skeevy internet pedophile. My "No's" were justifiable. Those types of "sleep-talking" make sense...whereas others do not. A good friend of mine has actually been privy to several of my outbursts and it just so happens that I found a little note that she wrote me* one night. She was sleeping next to me and once again, I shouted something completely absurd. Her note says:

"Lindz, last night in your sleep you said (rather loudly)- "125 Cow Woman! Zang 2 5 Zow Woman!"...all I can say is, huh? Love, Skirst"

There was also a time ( in my defense during a super long road trip from Washington to Virginia) when I sat up in bed and exclaimed "Pigs! Tanks! Pigs...tanks..." and then went immediately back to sleep.** Kirsten was also there for that one. I just want to say...thank you for still being my friend. For that matter, thank you Derek for loving me in spite of my quirks. What's a girl to do besides blog about her rambling sleep-talk? I hope that you have a hefty laugh at my expense! Go ahead...you know you want to.

*She wrote me a note so that she wouldn't forget to remind me of my crazy sleep talk.

**Later, upon being informed of said comment, I created a drawing of what I thought my dream might have looked like. Picture Babe in Lieutenant Dan's outfit. PIGS! TANKS!

Drop It Like It's Hot.

Remember the boy-band 98*? (By the way...I am using the asterisk because I can't figure out how to put the little degrees "circle-thing-a-ma-bob" in a word document...anyone?) Thinking about the name of their group makes me laugh because honestly I am pretty sure that their goal was to get the point across to all of the tween girl population that they were "SOOOOOO HOT, like OMG." but can we just stop and acknowledge the fact that 98 Degrees isn't even average body temperature?? I mean...they might as well have said "Hey...we're 98*...we're you on a slightly chilly day. Maybe you should put on a sweater." Now, I will give it to them...when it is 98 Degrees OUTSIDE...that is pretty hot, but if they really wanted to drive home the "hotness" they really should have gone a little crazier. Like say...110 Degrees. Now that is HOT. Which brings me to the actual point of this blog post...

Living in East Texas during the summer is pretty much like living in the mouth of a fire breathing dragon...except the dragon lives by a lot of water so it is unbearably humid. I'm sorry if that analogy isn't the best...my brain is currently suffering heat stroke. This year (so I am told) has been breaking "heat" records left and right. Well...I, for one, am not impressed. I would just like to state...for the record...that I believe it to be absolutely insane and totally unnecessary. 110 Degrees in the beginning of June??? Imagine August!! Ugh...no...don't. It will only make you tired...and really cranky. And probably significantly thirsty. I'm trying to look at the brighter(and cooler) side of things. For example...Thank GOD I am not pregnant right now. I can't even begin to express how wretched my attitude would be if that were the case. Also, how awesome is it that I have an air conditioner in my home AND my vehicle?? See...like that. I can definitely think of reasons why, in spite of the fact that I live in the blazing furnace that is Texas, I am still blessed. However...my poor little garden cannot say the same. *single tear*

I have come to the conclusion that although we made a valiant effort, our Garden has officially succumbed to the dragon's breath. Well...not the WHOLE garden. The tomato plants are still hanging on and I am going to continue nurturing them until they shrivel into the earth and die!! Everything else though...literally looks like someone took a match to the leaves and burned the plants. It sort of has that "old treasure map" look to it. The edge of the leaves have curled in upon themselves seeking any last piece of moisture or shade they could find...alas...the wretched heat has consumed them. Some of the plants still have a few vegetables on them and I have harvested/will harvest what I can and then I will lay my garden to rest until the brisk East Texas Winter arrives bringing with it the 75-80 degrees temperatures...then I will attempt to plant some more things. I don't count this as a failure though. For two reasons...#1 being that we have already enjoyed some pretty delicious produce from this garden and #2, I have learned what to do for next year (plant things approximately 3 months earlier than you would in any "normal" climate to account for the hellish Texas Summer!)

So, Happy Summer folks. If you live somewhere that is a mild 70-80 degrees, I envy you. I know a lot of people who read this blog (ha...like I have "A LOT" of readers...) are living in Washington State. Oh, how I miss it. Please...next time you are having a rainy, 50 degree day...remember me...and Thank God for your glorious Pacific Northwest summer!

What Had Happened Was...

You know when you can tell someone doesn't want to say what they need to because they are ashamed and/or embarrassed? Like when a person starts out a sentence with "What had happened was*..."?

Well, you see...what had happened was...I have been lazy. I am terribly sorry. Forgive me, will you? I could go on and on and continue with my what-had-happened-was attitude, but I won't. I could offer you plenty of reasons why I haven't been doing what I should be doing, but lets be honest...they'd all just be excuses (and some of them not even GOOD ones) anyway. So instead I will just be completely open and update you on the status of previously mentioned goals set forth on this here blog.

I wonder if I should start with the good news or the bad?? Oh what the heck...my whole "being physically fit" thing...not "working out" so well. Pun intended. Once again, I could go into a long list of reason why but I will spare you. Bottom line...I have failed to do what I said I would do. I will mention that I haven't been a complete sloth void of any sort of activity for the past 5 months (sort of impossible when you are the mother of an 18-month-old boy) I just haven't been really aggressive about losing the weight I want to lose. Bummer. I'm trying to just move on with life though and keep telling myself that I can do it. I have a gym membership and I go semi-regularly. I need to just go ultra-regularly. Scratch that...religiously. I need to quit making excuses for not going and just go. I always feel good after I leave the gym and I never regret my decision to work out. Not working out on the other hand often leaves me feeling like a giant loser. SO...I haven't given up hope just yet. *Note: I have just been informed that Starbucks now has Coconut flavoring again. God help me...Good thing the closest Starbucks is not close enough to justify multiple trips.

Ok...GOOD NEWS! Our goal to become financially fit is coming along quite nicely. It's not as if we snapped our fingers and decided we wanted to be debt free and then woke up rich (although that would be nice, huh?) but we did come together in our marriage and decide that enough was enough. No more credit cards, no more debt. Period. I gotta tell ya...it is a huge relief! Actually, the problem with my thinking before this whole revelation was that I thought to myself "It is just TOO scary to think about living without a credit card...I mean...what if we NEED something??" HAH! Well, I can honestly say...doing without things that I definitely do NOT need (but may think I do) is so, so, so much easier than living with the guilt and the fear that comes with having a huge credit card bill and debt hanging over your head. As I said before, it's not like we came to this realization and then magically woke up debt free but the point is...we will be. We are on our way and it feels GREAT! It is amazing what paying off something does to your momentum when you are on a debt-freedness mission!! Not to mention the lack of arguing that takes place when you and your husband are on the same page about finances...seriously...amazing. Let me just say that we (obviously) still argue now and then...who doesn't? But we are in such exponentially greater places as far as communication about finances go and it is glorious. ***sigh of relief***

So, there you have it. I'm not perfect. Nowhere close actually, but I at least try to do some things right. Hang in there with me and if you think of it say a prayer that I stay away from the Coconut White Mochas and stay close to the gym!!!

PS...Clearly by my stating the desire to frequent Starbucks, I am also failing in the "No Caffeine" department...oops.

*I am aware that this phrase is ridiculous and quite comical. If you didn't already, please read the above entry with a drawl over the words "What had happened was..." You won't regret it.

Prone To Wander

I have to say...music really gets me. Seriously. Every time. Let me just mention at this point that I am in NO way musically gifted. In fact, I love to sing along, but only when the music is loud enough to drown out the obnoxiousness that is my "singing voice". Still, it doesn't change the fact that music moves me. From very early on, I can remember listening to all kinds of music and (thankfully) developing a love for multiple genres and styles. I wasn't the typically "teeny-bopper" kind of girl (although I could belt out a little "Hit Me Baby One More Time" like the rest of them...I also loved the really GOOD music...and still do.) Music really played a role in my coming to Christ. Not that it was the only factor (obviously) but it was something that got this heart moving. Now that I have been a Christian for about 10 years (WOW) I can say that when I am in church and experiencing "worship"...I like for it to be moderately "up beat". I'm not talking strobe lights and stunning pyrotechnics, I just mean...I like for there to be some instruments...a beat. You know what I mean. Can I get a little bass guitar, please? Thank you. BUT...who can resist a crisp, raw, voices-lifted-up, old fashioned hymn every once in a while? My favorite one has always been "Come Thou Fount". It is just so beautiful and the lyrics really ring true in my life. So this weekend, on the way to church, I found a CD that I have had for a long time but forgot about and I LOVE the version of this hymn that these guys sing. ("The Worship Room" is the name of the CD...Chad Cates is one of the guys...amazing.) I got a little choked up as I belted it out because...well...like I said..music gets me. Particularly music that speaks such awesome truth. I encourage you to really read the words and think about it. Go ahead...let it marinate. I think the second verse of this song (which by the way...I learned was changed to alternate lyrics sometime in the 70's...I looked up the original lyrics and no offense to Robert Robinson-the original writer, but I do like the newer lyrics better.) is particularly true of my life. I love how it says: "Jesus sought me when a stranger" (there I go getting choked up again!) I mean really...in my life, my experience, there is NO other explanation for where I am today other than to know without a doubt, wholeheartedly that God's hand of protection and guidance was on me before I even knew Him. How amazing and truly humbling. Really. Anyway, I just wanted to share the lyrics to this beautiful song (which I am sure you have heard at some point in your life) I hope that it brightens your day and speaks to you the way it does to me.

Come thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise His Name I'm fixed upon it
Name of God's redeeming love.

Hither to thy love has blessed me
Thou has brought me to this place
And I know thy hand will bring me
Safely home by thy good grace
Jesus sought me when a stranger,
Wandering from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger,
Bought me with His precious blood.

O to grace how great a debtor
Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
Bind my wandering heart to Thee:
Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it,
Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it;
Seal it for Thy courts above.

*Image Source: payolacollective.com